Cowboy Humor

Quotations

• "Behind every successful rancher is a wife who works in town."
  
• Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a drunk cowboy from any direction.
• If you've done it. it ain't braggin'!
• "A bronc' rider should be light in the head and heavy in the seat."
• "Broke is what happens when a cowboy lets his yearnin's get ahead of his earnin's."

Cowboy Jokes

COWBOY & THE PREACHER
One Sunday, a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.

The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."

So the minister began his sermon.

One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he had liked the sermon.

The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

A cowboy lost his favorite Bible

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the
range.

Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It's a miracle!”

“Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”


Cowboy in Australia

A cowboy from Texas goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?

The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

What About This Thing?

You all know that I love horses, but what is this thing? Is it a horse? Why have I never seen one?

Yes, it's a unicorn. Is it a mythical creature? If so, why do I see its name in the Holy Bible?


One old song says that the reason we don't see them now is that they were mischievous during the loading of Noah's Ark and did not get on the boat. They all perished.

Those who claim it is a myth also say that it is a good creature rather than the bad creatures that myths often create. According to some old references the animal is fierce but in a good way. They also make claims about its solitary beauty. Some claim that the appendage on its head can make poisons non-toxic.

It is usually considered to be some type of horse nowadays although in the past it was pictured as having the beard of a billy goat and split hoofs, which horses do not have.

Although the animal is usually considered a 'wild' animal, it is lovable, just as the Koala or Panda are lovable. The creature seems to have preferred to not be around people but was gentle when it was forced to be with them.

Since I love horses, I would really like to see one for myself.