Underestimating a Woman?

A man calls home to his wife and says, 'Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone for a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend...and also get out my rod and tackle box from the attic? We're leaving at 4:30pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. 'Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas.' The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but, being the good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

Following the long weekend he came home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, 'Yes! Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do? You'll love the answer.

The wife replies, ' I did, they're in your tackle box.

( never, never, ever, ever try to outsmart a woman!!!)

His Son's Long Hair

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal. "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut, and we'll talk about the car."


The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up, and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you didn't get your hair cut."

The young man was ready for the question. "You know, Dad," he said, " I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and Jesus had long hair."

To this his father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"

Preparing to Become a Vet

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery
table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.'

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth.

'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.

The students freaked and hesitated for several minutes, but eventually, each took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid.'