Funny Accidents

Want to see funny accidents on a short video? If so, click.

Newest Clouded Leopards

Yesterday, the National Zoo made the discovery of twin clouded leopard cubs in the Conservation and Research Center of the zoo.














Hand raising of the babies seems to be the best policy since mother clouded leopards sometimes lose one or more cubs, sometimes by accidentally killing one or purposely destroying one. To more more sure of their survival, the babies are being cared for by humans.

These are the first of their kind to be born at this zoo in sixteen years. Their parents were brought in from Thailand last year. Obviously, the pair mated without anyone being aware of it.

Computer Addiction? Test to find out.

Here's a quick and very simple test for you to take. This just proves that we have become WAY too 'dependent' on our computers.

Q. How many legs do you have?

A. To find out the answer, look down .. . ...

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LOOK down, not scroll down!

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director, "How do
you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"

"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Early Telephone Information

In the first phone company, the four operators had to remember the names of about 200 customers. When John Smith wanted to call Tom Hardin, for instance, the operator knew which plug to put in which hole. When two of the four operators became sick with the measles, the doctor, who was also a part owner of the phone company, suggested numbering the customers so that temporary operators who didn't know all the customers by name, could work the system. This is how phone numbers came to be.

One elderly woman related this story: "We didn't used to dial phones. You would crank the phone in a code. Ours was two short and two long. Every neighbor had their own code. You dialed a short with about a half-turn of the crank, and a long was about a full turn. "Music was such a novelty, that sometimes one of the rare neighbors who had a phonograph would dial four longs, which was the signal for everyone on the line to pull down their receivers and listen. They would then wind up the Victrola and everyone would listen in wonder to the music. Of course, only one person in every family could listen to the receiver at a time, so everyone would take turns holding the thing to their ears, while the others in the family gathered around eagerly awaiting their turn."

Early in the history of telephones, there were about 300 competing phone companies in America. You could call only the people who did business with the same company as you.

People didn't really understand early telephones. Therefore, one advertisement stated: "Its employment necessitates no skilled labor, no technical education, and no special attention." This was in contrast to so much home equipment of the era.

Men Are Happier

NICKNAMES

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Copper Wire

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of a copper-wire system dating back 100 years, and they came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.



Not to be outdone by New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: "California archaeologists have found traces of a 200 year old copper-wire system and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."



One week later, "The Redneck Rebel Gazette" in Georgia reported the following:.. .......



After digging as deep as 30 feet in a corn field, Bubba Ray Johnson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Georgia had already gone
wireless.

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